Interesting how changes can't be done in the past but in present. You can't really change but plan for the changes in the future.
Anyhoo -- my closest friend said to me, "You're the strong one." I can't help groan inwardly. Why can't she be strong? What is there to be afraid? Is she that determined to avoid mistakes? Life is bound with mistakes. That is how we learn and try to be better. Perfection is our lifetime goal -- it is not something that can achieve quickly in life. As for her, I am worried. As much as she tried to avoid mistakes, she unconsciously is digging a big dark hole under her. I don't want the time to come when I can't do anything to save her.
She also once said that I am the happiest person she ever have known. She didn't realize how I became happy -- it is beacuse of the sorrows I have in my life, I learned to appreciate happiness. I try to contradict with the darkness and misery with light and cheerfulness. It is a constant battle, sometimes a victory or a defeat.
Another change is the spring break is coming -- but there is a milestone I have to hurdle -- the American Revolution Unit I am doing with the 5th graders. Heavens knows how I can accomplish it. 19 students with various personalities and intellect. They are adorable and strong future leaders. I do hope I can instill the appreciation of our founding fathers opting to be independent from the Great Britain and creating a fair government -- naturally, it is with flaws since it is created by men. But they did depend on the "Almighty" to make the decisions. Days they spent thinking the risks and benefits to declare independence. I am eternally grateful for their courage.
Spring Break -- Jaime and I plan to rent a car few days before we go back to Utah. We plan to take a trip around the California, visiting Santa Cruz and "Holy Ghost" Cemetery in Newark and other places. I will miss living with Jaime. She is the best roommate ever. She bears with my goofiness. We have played over 60 Skipbo games and I am winning. :) So much has been done since January.
Then Graduation will be on May 1st. My sister and mother will come and see me walk among with my collegaues. It will create a sense of accomplishment. Then on May 5th, I will fly to Romania but making a stop in Chicago for my connecting flight -- while I wait for my connecting flight, Ace will come and visit in Chicago. It will be 4 months since we have seen each other.
Then Romania -- Wow, I haven't really believe it yet but I am so looking forward to see Emily, my bosom sister. Then on the way back to USA, I will visit Ace for 10 days.
Then after that... who knows where I will end up working as an adult, joining with other adults in the workforce. How depressing it sounds....
1 comment:
Elle,
Don't forget Rory will be there also for your graduation. He leaves for DC the day before you leave.
Sounds like lots of events have been going on. I was glad to see a post from you on my look to see if you'd written anything.
The O'Hara's are surely getting about the world this year. Emily and Nils in Eastern Europe, and you going to visit, Rory and Toby and family all going to Australia.
Finishing school is a huge thing, seems we are constantly going from the lowest rank working our way up to the top then we are back to the bottom once more, happens all through school and then again with work and changing jobs etc... Keeps us humble and allows for more growth I guess. Nerve racking and exciting all at once. I'm sure everything will work out great for your future career.
Sounds like your friend paid you some nice compliments. In life as much as we would like to help others in the end everyone has to make their own choices. Hence Christs plan verses Satan's won, we get to show unconditional love, that's our role.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I enjoyed reading them.
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